I am going to be a dad.
......help
I am not ready for this. I am in no way prepared to make sure that another human being is taken care of in the way that it needs to be taken care of. I find myself struggling to make sure that I am a good husband, how am I going to foster the well being of a person who cannot even make decisions on their own?
These were just a few thoughts that went through my head when I found out that my bride was pregnant. I choose to only share a couple of the thoughts I had because most of the other ones involved weeping, the fetal position and sentences that would not make any sense. Not that any of these really do either.
I have had about 7 months to think over the fact that I am going to be a dad and I have come to this conclusion:
I am not ready for this. I am in no way prepared to make sure that another human being is taken care of in the way that it needs to be taken care of. I find myself struggling to make sure that I am a good husband, how am I going to foster the well being of a person who cannot even make decisions on their own?
One difference.
I don't think that this is necessarily a bad thing. I think having a fear of something makes you focus on it more than you would if you were approaching a situation with complete and total confidence. I know that nobody is really ready for their first child. You simply do not know what is going to happen and what it is going to entail to be a parent until....you're actually a parent.
I am terrified and yet I am so incredibly excited. I get to be a dad. What an amazing thing that God has blessed me with. He knew what He was doing when He allowed this to happen and coming to that realization changes everything. Knowing that my father and creator is going to be by my side every step of the way is...indescribable.
I'm going to be an awesome dad that is going to have plenty of help and my kid is going to be the most incredible kid ever...even if he or she is just like me.
Let's not talk about the things that have gone through my head and still go through it and make me want to puke because really? Who entrusted the girl with THOSE thoughts with a child? Apparently together we're going to be great. Probably not alone because I can't make a decision to save my life and sometimes you can't hear unless it involves sports. So we get to do this together because that's the best present in the world.
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to watch you be a dad. Seriously melts my heart already and you've only just begun.